September 11, 2006

I didn't expect to get up this morning and relive the emotions of 5 years ago. And then I turned on CNN.

And amid the reliving of that morning, on CNN Live right now there is a plane that they have diverted this morning...first they found a backpack in the cargo hold that did not belong to anyone on the plane, and removed it...then in flight (from Atlanta to San Fran) they found a blackberry that does not belong to anyone on the flight. The flight has been diverted to Dallas. <-- no matter if we find out later today this was coincidence or not, it's a good example that our nation has been changed forever. Pre 9/11 most of us were naive to the terror that would fill our skies.

I thought I'd seen everything from 9/11, but I just watched the video of the plane crashing into the Pentagon...it is obivously a securite camera, and not far from the site of the crash. I'm not sure what made it so real and disturbing....the scratchy film, or the fact that you never see a plane...you see clear skies and in the next moment you see the fireball begin on the side of the building.

5 years ago I believe my mom had already called and Dionne and I had just turned on the TV. I remember being rivited to the TV...I remember going to school and thinking...we're supposed to graduate; are we going to be at war by June....will all the guys in our class be drafted....and I remember thinking what is next? what else will they do today? Then I remember going home...and after watching 9/11 coverage all day long, finally finding The GameShow Network so we could have a little relief before trying to sleep.

...it's hard to imagine that it has been 5 years, and in others, it's hard to believe it hasn't been longer. A lot has changed in 5 years...that's why it may seem longer than 5 years. Our way of life, our concept of terror, war, the inconveniece and anxiety of flying...has changed. Our country, united and divided...has changed. And then looking back, it's hard to believe that 5 years have passed. That morning seems so clear...those images still so fresh. The emotion, the sadness, the feeling of helplessness.